She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
