can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
