just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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