The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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