dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The feeling are messing with the penis
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
