think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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