I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
