She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Randomize
