Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
