I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
