Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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