On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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