I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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