the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize