K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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