so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
