well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
