Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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