nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
