he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
