i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
where does the pee come out of this thing
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
