It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
high people should be assigned attendants
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I enjoy the company of your penis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
