Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
