Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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