Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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