You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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