Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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