I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize