Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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