apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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