I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize