There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
