i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
