I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
