Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Bring me that man meat
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
