i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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