And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize