Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
