That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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