I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
