What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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