no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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