No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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