I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
