Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
