that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
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