your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
