she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
