dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish I only lived at night.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
