Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
What a dumb baby whore.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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