I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
