Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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