No stitches, just platelets and will power
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
