First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
