my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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