went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude i'm inner monologue high
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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