Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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