you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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