i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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