you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
