I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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