I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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