The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
