i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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