I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
