Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
smell my finger.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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