hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
